"Can you kill my plants please?"

No one has ever actually asked me to do this, believe it or not. I was reading my friend Becky's blog a few days ago and she mentioned how she and gardening just do not go together at all. I was laughing to myself as I read it as I could completely relate to this and how people don't buy her flowers because they die. I love seeing flowers in the house, but alas, the same thing happens to me - I don't water them and then I wonder why it is that they don't still look pretty. Seth bought me an orchid a few months ago, as even I can't go wrong with that. Although having said that, Seth is the one who tends to look after it.

My boss has been signed off work for a couple of months having had surgery on her foot. Before she went away, she asked me if I could water the plants in her office. Not wanting to seem incompetent and like such a task was beyond me, I said yes. I put a reminder in my diary to water them every couple of days, which seemed like a fool-proof way of doing things. However, I have had a few days off work over this time. When I have been in, I have tried hard to remember, but there are a lot of reminders in my diary and sometimes this particular note gets a little lost in amongst everything else.

This morning (having had the day off yesterday and I can't actually remember if I had watered the plants earlier on this week), I thought I better go into her office to check on the state of the plants. Especially given that they line her windowsill and her office gets the sun most of the day. And also given the fact that is has been 27C the last couple of days. Hmmmm.  Much to my relief, they were pretty much alive. For the most part. She has those spider plant things (is that even what they're called?!) and some of the bits that hang down had completely died. To be honest, there were a fair few dead bits on the plants which definitely were not there before they were left in my not so tender loving care! I got hold of the scissors and cut off the dead bits and they're not looking too bad now. There is still some plant left too. Yay for me.

This took me back to a time a few years ago when I was still living at home. Mum had gone to Scotland to see her sister (again, in the summer, so it was warm. I know that our summers are a bit hit and miss, but it was warm at this particular time). Mum had asked me to water the garden. Mum is a huge gardener, she loves it. She has a lot of roses, each one of them named after members of the family (no, she doesn't name them - they come with the names!) and she really takes care of her garden and her plants. Passers-by have often commented on what a lovely garden it is. Mum's hanging baskets this particular year were beautiful and she explained to me that she had made up a bottle of water mixed with plant feed that we had to use to water the hanging basket. She told me where she would leave the bottle as well so everything seemed pretty safe. I felt quite proud of myself that I stepped up to the plate and watered the garden and especially the hanging baskets while Mum was away.

You're waiting for me to tell you that everything in the garden died, including the hanging baskets, aren't you? Well, everything stayed alive. Much to mine and Mum's surprise. Especially when Mum came back home and asked if I had watered the hanging baskets with the mixture she had told me to use. I told her that I had. It turns out that I hadn't - that bottle was still full. Instead I had watered her plants with a bottle of windscreen wash. Epic fail. In my defence, it was difficult to tell, it was in a blue plastic bottle so I didn't notice that I was watering the plants with blue liquid instead of plant solution coloured liquid, whatever colour that may be. It was also in the same type of bottle as Mum had made up the windscreen wash solution as well. And the plants in the hanging basket lived to tell the tale so it can't be all bad.

But, as you can see, whilst I don't necessarily kill plants completely, I am not the best person to look after your plants for you. So if you need anyone to look after them, just make sure you don't ask me!