One

A couple of Saturdays ago it was Caleb's first Birthday. On the Friday it was a year to the day that I had him, and I texted Seth at exactly 1.44pm to remind him of this fact, as it was exactly the time that Caleb was born. I have to say, I had very mixed feelings about the whole thing! I am obviously so excited to see my little boy grow. He has changed so much in the last year, from a tiny 6 pound 2oz baby to a little boy who has his own little personality. He makes me laugh every day with his chatter and he knows when he is being funny, I love him. Every day he seems to be learning more and more things and I love being able to watch it all as it happens. He is all over the house now, opening cupboard doors and drawers and emptying them of their contents, attempting to climb up on furniture and when I am washing up, he will come over, grab onto the back of my legs and pull himself up.

However, a part of me misses my tiny baby boy. A year ago on the Monday was my due date. This was when Seth decided to buy some face paints on the way home from work and paint my bump in honour of the upcoming Olympics.

On the Thursday afternoon, I felt little twinges that turned into contractions. When I got into hospital, they then debated over whether to give me a c-section as Caleb's heart rate kept dropping and they weren't sure whether they should just get him out as soon as possible, but then his heart rate would pick up again. I have to say, I felt a little bit emotional as the memories came flooding back. This is what having a baby has done to me, I never used to be this soft! I remember the few weeks that followed as well, being excited, happy, exhausted and overwhelmed and wondering why no one had given me a heads up that motherhood is so HARD!

I guess it's kind of hard to explain how I am feeling about Caleb growing up really. Everyone had said to me to treasure every moment because it passes by so quickly and when he was first born, I don't think I really appreciated just how quickly the time would go by! Every time I see a tiny baby now it reminds me that Caleb isn't small anymore and that he's getting older! Just last week, I held him in my arms and rocked him to sleep and when I looked at our reflection in the mirror, I could hardly believe how much he had grown in what seems to be a day. But, to sum it all up, a year ago had a beautiful tiny little baby who has now grown into a beautiful bigger baby boy! I don't know at what stage I should actually stop referring to him as my baby but for now, I'm sticking with it and keeping it around for as long as I can!