Ego boost

Anyone who knows me or who has read this knows that I adore my son, Caleb. I think he's pretty amazing and I feel like the luckiest Mum in the world to have him. I wouldn't change anything about him, except for maybe one thing. He doesn't like cuddles. When you try to cuddle him, he squirms and tries to get away or he cries. It's horrible when he's really upset about something and he is sobbing because the natural reaction is for me to pick him up and cuddle him to comfort him. But he hates that so I can't even do that, instead I just have to sit next to him and talk to him or play with him until he stops crying. I feel like an awful Mum for not comforting him in the way that I would see fit, even though it's not the way he wants to be comforted.

A few weeks ago I was feeling a bit down. I don't even know what about really and I can't even pinpoint what it was, I was just feeling sad. I think I was also feeling down because it just didn't feel like Caleb really loved me. It sounds stupid I know, but every time I went to play with him, he wasn't bothered that I was there, he didn't acknowledge me, he just kept on doing his thing.

One day, Caleb and I were out and about. He was in his stroller and we had stopped to look at something. When I looked down at him, he was already looking at me and when we made eye contact, he smiled at me. It was the kind of smile that told me that he loved me and the way he looked at me made me feel like I was the most important person in his world. When I go into his room in the mornings, he jumps up and down in his cot and he is so happy to see me. The other morning he was watching children's TV as he was playing and something came on that scared him (for anyone that knows, it was the momo's world song on "Show me, Show me", it freaks him out!). As he was crying he came crawling towards me at top speed and wanted me to pick him up and hold him. He quickly recovered and was fine afterwards. Those little things reminded me that it doesn't matter if Caleb doesn't like cuddles, he still loves me and thinks I'm pretty great! The feeling is reciprocated, I think I'll keep him around.

Don't be fooled by this, he was biting my shoulder but I'll take what I can get! :)