How things change

Before I became a Mum, life was so different. It's not that I was overly bothered with what people thought of me, but by the same token, I would never go out of my way to look ridiculous just for the sake of it (I may have done it unintentionally but that's a different matter entirely ;)). I never really wanted to look silly I suppose.

Then Caleb came along. It struck me a little while ago how much I have changed. A few months ago we were in Seth's parent's church ward one Sunday. I don't think we had been there in a while, certainly not since Caleb was born. He was at the age where he was crawling around everywhere and getting into everything. So even though I was in my Sunday best, I remember scrambling around on the floor after him to try and keep an eye on him. A good friend of Seth's said to me, "I always thought that you were so proper and dignified, and then I see you crawling around on the floor!" I actually took that as a compliment, although I don't know if he was implying that I am no longer dignified. I hope I haven't lost it completely ;).

Caleb and I were out shopping a couple of days ago and he was beginning to get a bit grumpy. I started to talk to him in a stupid voice and he found it hilarious, so I kept doing it over and over again until he could barely draw breath for laughing so much. Some people walking past looked at me as if to say, "she is INSANE!" whilst others walked past and smiled at me in a way that said, "we've all been there!". I think it was at that point that I really realised how much being a Mum has changed me. Well, maybe not changed me, I think I am still the same person, but maybe developed me? Evolved? Whatever, but I hope you get the idea of what I'm actually trying to say. I don't mind being the person who is crawling around on the floor at church and I really don't care what people think of me when I act in a less than adult way to get some laughs from Caleb, or when I'm sitting on the floor in the centre of a crowded shopping mall because Caleb has decided that right there is the perfect place for him to sit for a few minutes. I'm just happy to be a Mum and happy to try and be the Mum that Caleb wants and needs me to be, and if that means pulling funny faces, pretending to be a monster and speaking in silly voices, then so be it!