Today's thoughts

Here are my thoughts for today:

I have less than 100 days to go until the baby is due. That really excites me and terrifies me at the same time. I love being pregnant and feeling this baby grow and move around inside me but I have no idea what to do with a baby! Hopefully I will learn fast. I've always wanted children but I have never been the type of person to go and hold friends' newborns or anything. It's not that I don't like them because I do but I'm always scared I will break them or something.  People keep asking me if I am ready for its arrival and the answer to that is no. We haven't bought anything yet, although we aim to start after Seth's exams. I think the travel system is probably the biggest thing we need to get so once that is sorted I will feel better.

I am failing in the eating healthily category. I know it's more important to do that when pregnant but I just really want sweet things. I don't know if it's a craving or not because I've always liked sweet things but I seem to be eating them a lot more than usual and don't have the willpower to stop myself. And the more I try to be good, the more I want whatever sweet thing it is! I'm not adopting the attitude "I'm eating for two so it's okay" but I'm not exactly being disciplined either!

Rachel is getting married tomorrow! I'm excited to go to her wedding and I'm excited for her too. But thinking of that has made me reflect quite a lot and it seems so weird that little Rach is all grown up and getting married! She's 21 so it's not like she's 16 and getting married or anything but I think it seems so strange to me because it feels like I have watched her grow up. It's probbaly because I have! When she and Jess were younger we used to see them pretty much every day. When she was little she used to lay in her big blue blanket and Laura and I would grab each end of it and rock her back and forth. I did her make up for her prom and when she went to university in Lancaster, I was there too. (I didn't follow her there or anything because that would be weird - Seth and I got married and he was going into his second year of his degree there when Rach started). I didn't see her every day or anything like that during our time there together but she would often just pop over if she was feeling lonely and she came round one year to help us put up the Christmas decorations. I've not seen her as much since we moved to London but I was with her, Lin and Jess when Rach tried on THE wedding dress. And here she is, getting married tomorrow! I know it will be a lovely day and she will be a beautiful bride. I'm so happy and excited for her as she starts this next chapter of her life.